ASD

How to turn down a job offer

Last week I received an email asking how to turn down a job offer.  You’re probably saying “Turn down a job offer!  Why would I do that?  I’m trying to get a job!”

I know I’m probably jumping the gun here but I’m going to show you how to solve a problem you will soon have: having too many job offers. Yes, it’s true. Believe it or not, whether you’re on the autism spectrum or not, there will be a point (soon I promise) where you’ll get not one, but two and maybe even three job offers.

When it rains, it pours

I always like to tell the students of my coaching program that when it rains, it pours. I’ve seen it over and over again to where people get two job offers in the same week whereas before they started working with me they had gone 6 months without even getting an interview. When you start getting job offers, they come at you hard and fast.

First world problems two job offers.jpg


Today I’m going to show how to turn a job offer down in a way that’s professional, respectful, and doesn’t burn any bridges. Remember, just because you’re not working with them this time, doesn’t mean you won’t be working with them sometime during your career.

Turning down a job offer isn’t a terrible thing and it won’t brand you as someone that’s ungrateful or too big for their britches. I actually spend quite some time coaching people on this because it’s something they truly struggle with. I think it’s because it can be hard to go from hoping and wishing you get any job to getting having to pick from two or more awesome jobs.

It’s not about the money

Some job offers are easy to turn down because they’re bad jobs. Either they pay too little and aren’t willing to negotiate, there isn’t room for professional development, you don’t like the people, or the company just plain sucks.

The hard decision is when you have two great offers. They may both pay the same, same benefits, great people. Both of them are the whole package. This is when you have to make a decision based on what you want. When you’re making a decision on what job offer to take, you have to really think about what the pros and cons of your choice, what each particular job can help you achieve now and in the future. It’s not as easy as choosing a job that pays you more. Sometimes it’s about choosing the job that will prepare you for the next job.

At the end of the day, you have to make the decision based on what you want now and what you want in the future. You have to make the choice based on what’s best for you and not on how it’s going to make other people feel. “I don’t want to disappoint them. They’re such a great company and everyone was super nice” and that may be true, however, this is a business decision and their feelings don’t really matter. Think about it another way: Would a company make you a job offer just so their feelings wouldn’t get hurt? Absolutely not. They made an offer because it made business sense to hire you instead of someone else.

So how do I do it?

First off, make sure you already have a signed offer letter from the company you want to work at. You wouldn’t want to turn down a job offer only to find out that you don’t have the other.

Another thing, no matter how you do it, the people you’re turning down are going to be disappointed and frankly, that’s not your problem. No matter what, you want to maintain the level of professionalism they’ve come to expect from you throughout the whole interview process. Anyone can be polite when a company is wining and dining you to convince you to work for them. A true professional is the one who can maintain that level of professionalism when it’s time to deliver bad news.

“Hi NAME OF CONTACT,

Thank you very much for your offer. After much consideration, I have decided to go with a different company. I was very impressed by the whole team and the recruitment experience. I hope we will be able to work together sometime in the future.

Sincerely,

YOUR NAME”

Notice how I don’t include the name of the company you’re going to, or why I chose the other company, or any type of explanation. Your decision isn’t up for consideration or change. You’ve made a decision and you’re sticking to it.

As a side note, this is very much like breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s better to just be straightforward, honest, and decisive about it. Would you tell your ex all the reasons why you’re breaking up with them, who you’ll be going out with next, and why this new person is better than your ex? Absolutely not! That’s why restraining orders were created.

Same goes for job offers. You never know how they’re going to take it and frankly, it’s none of their business so don’t give them extra info they don’t need.

The company you turned down may reach out to you and ask you all types of questions (same goes for exes) and it’s up to you to decide what you want to let them know. I personally like to stick to my guns and just tell them that that other job was a better fit for me long term. Why don’t you want to get into specifics? Well, for starters, it’s doubtful that they’ll try to negotiate at this point or change any other terms. Second, If they’re willing to throw in more money/benefits now, why wouldn’t they do it at the beginning when it was time to negotiate? Third, if you chose another job based on things besides money/benefits, that means that the job you turned down would have to radically change what they would give you career-wise. Not only that, they would have to change it so much that it would be better than the other offer. This is very unlikely to happen. Along those lines, changing your mind about jobs because they offer you a couple thousand dollars more after you’ve made a decision, in my opinion, shows a lack of character. At some point you will have to make a decision and stick to it. Remember, not making a decision is a decision itself.

Be Bold!

Ramon

P.S. And, whenever you’re ready... here are 4 ways we can help you turn job search anxiety into interviews, job offers, and self-confidence.

1. Watch my free charisma challenge course

For the next 3 days, I'm going to show you the steps you need to know to start building your network one day at a time. You will learn how to choose the right networking event for you that fits your personality and your career goals. You will know how to approach strangers and you will know how to start and end a conversation. You will know how to follow up. -> Click Here

2. Download my Instant Interview Coach E-book

I wrote this book to answer the most pressing questions people have about interviewing, how to manage their job search, and the best ways to answer the difficult interview questions you might get ("Why are you looking to switch jobs?").  I am only able to work with a limited number of people a month so this book is the perfect way to get all the advice and knowledge you need to be successful without having to book an appointment with me. Download the e-book by clicking here - > Instant Interview Coach: Your most pressing questions about interviewing answered!

3. Join our FREE Official Persuasive Interview Parents group and connect with other parents who are committed to helping their child find their dream co-op -> Click Here

4. Work with me 1-on-1

If you’d like to work directly with me to find your dream co-op... just schedule your complimentary “Persuasive Interview Consulting” Call with me so we can clarify your fastest path to finding your dream co-op and create a strategy for you to make it happen... Schedule your FREE call with me here -> Click Here To Schedule

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Salary Negotiation Resources

Several weeks ago I gave a salary negotiation presentation to the SHPE DFW chapter and it was a great turnout.  The group really enjoyed the material and as a bonus, I sent them a list of resources they can use to start developing their negotiation skills.  

Since the material was so good, I figured you would like to get it too.  The link below ncludes the slide deck of the presentation as well as a list of the top negotiation books you can use to get started.  Just this info alone will make you be ahead of your competition and is my gift to you.

You can access the gifts using this link:  SHPE DFW Bonus Gifts

If you have questions on how to approach your next negotiation or starting your job search, feel free to reach out to me.  I’m always happy to help.

Happy negotiating!

 Be Bold!

 Ramon

P.S. And, whenever you’re ready... here are 4 ways we can help you turn job search anxiety into interviews, job offers, and self-confidence.

1. Watch my free charisma challenge course

For the next 3 days, I'm going to show you the steps you need to know to start building your network one day at a time. You will learn how to choose the right networking event for you that fits your personality and your career goals. You will know how to approach strangers and you will know how to start and end a conversation. You will know how to follow up. -> Click Here

2. Download my Instant Interview Coach E-book

I wrote this book to answer the most pressing questions people have about interviewing, how to manage their job search, and the best ways to answer the difficult interview questions you might get ("Why are you looking to switch jobs?").  I am only able to work with a limited number of people a month so this book is the perfect way to get all the advice and knowledge you need to be successful without having to book an appointment with me. Download the e-book by clicking here - > Instant Interview Coach: Your most pressing questions about interviewing answered!

3. Join our FREE Official Persuasive Interview Parents group and connect with other parents who are committed to helping their child find their dream co-op -> Click Here

4. Work with me 1-on-1

If you’d like to work directly with me to find your dream co-op... just schedule your complimentary “Persuasive Interview Consulting” Call with me so we can clarify your fastest path to finding your dream co-op and create a strategy for you to make it happen... Schedule your FREE call with me here -> Click Here To Schedule

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Interview Advice for People with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome looking for Fortune 500 jobs

Interviewing can be a stressful situation for anyone especially for those in the Autism Spectrum. However it doesn’t have to be.  Here are some tips, which I call the 3 P’s of Interviewing, you can use when preparing for your next interview.

Prepare

Most people don’t prepare for an interview.  Preparing for an interview means figuring out the logistics before the day of the interview.  As soon as I find out the details like time, date, location, and person I’ll be meeting with, I start preparing.  I make sure I clear out my calendar a couple of hours before and after so I won’t be rushed, I figure out how I will be getting to the interview (uber, drive myself, get a ride, or take bus), the best routes to get there, and start doing research on the job, company, AND the person I’ll be meeting with.  Many people forget that you need to build rapport with the interviewer so having a good idea of who they are, how long they’ve worked at their current company, and their career history (all things easily found on LinkedIn) can mean the difference between an offer letter or a rejection email.

Which brings me to...

Practice

A quick Google search can help you find interview questions that you can use to practice.  All you have to do is search “Interview Questions” + “Name of Company” and you’ll find the most common interview questions asked by that company.  

The next step is to write out your answers.  Most people “practice” interview questions in their heads, however they never develop the answer.  This gets them in trouble during the interview because all they practice were the high points and not the details that make up a good answer.

Once you’ve written out your answers, practice out loud with a partner.  This can help you figure out if your answer makes sense and if it gets the point across.  Your interview partner can also give you feedback on your body language and tone of voice.  

Don’t worry about memorizing a “script”.  You should focus on making sure your answers portray the real you and match up to the job description.

Positive (as in “Stay Positive”)

A “No” doesn’t mean “Never”.  It just means “Not right now.”  Use this opportunity to reach out and ask for feedback from the interviewer to learn where you can improve.  Most companies will provide feedback if you use the template below:

Send it directly to the people who you met with.

I've used this same exact email several years ago and I still think this last interaction with them made such a good impression that they called me back to offer me a new position literally 30 days later.   

You can use that feedback when you prepare for your next interview.  When you receive the response, a simple "Thank you for the feedback. I'll take this into account as I prepare for my other interviews." shows that you appreciate their input and that there aren't any hard feelings further cementing in their brains that you're a great candidate.

“Thank you once again for taking the time to meet with me yesterday.  It looks like I was passed up for the NAME OF ROLE at NAME OF COMPANY, which is unfortunate but there is always a way to make a situation into a learning experience.  As such, I would please ask that you provide me with any feedback you may have regarding our meeting and how I can improve in order to make a better impact either with NAME OF COMPANY or any other company I interview with in the future.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

YOUR NAME”

When they respond, reply with this:

“Thank you for the feedback.  I'll take this into account as I prepare for my other interviews

Sincerely,

YOUR NAME”

Remember, finding a job you love is making sure you find something that fits your needs as much as them finding someone that fits theirs.  Make sure to test different approaches to find the one that best fits your skills and abilities.


Be Bold!

Ramon

P.S. And, whenever you’re ready... here are 4 ways we can help you turn job search anxiety into interviews, job offers, and self-confidence.

1. Watch my free charisma challenge course

For the next 3 days, I'm going to show you the steps you need to know to start building your network one day at a time. You will learn how to choose the right networking event for you that fits your personality and your career goals. You will know how to approach strangers and you will know how to start and end a conversation. You will know how to follow up. -> Click Here

2. Download my Instant Interview Coach E-book

I wrote this book to answer the most pressing questions people have about interviewing, how to manage their job search, and the best ways to answer the difficult interview questions you might get ("Why are you looking to switch jobs?").  I am only able to work with a limited number of people a month so this book is the perfect way to get all the advice and knowledge you need to be successful without having to book an appointment with me. Download the e-book by clicking here - > Instant Interview Coach: Your most pressing questions about interviewing answered!

3. Join our FREE Official Persuasive Interview Parents group and connect with other parents who are committed to helping their child find their dream co-op -> Click Here

4. Work with me 1-on-1

If you’d like to work directly with me to find your dream co-op... just schedule your complimentary “Persuasive Interview Consulting” Call with me so we can clarify your fastest path to finding your dream co-op and create a strategy for you to make it happen... Schedule your FREE call with me here -> Click Here To Schedule

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Companies that hire ASD candidates

Three weeks ago, I made my first ever trip to Columbus, Ohio to attend OCALICON (“The Nation's Premier Autism and Disabilities Conference”).  I met great people and learned more about the challenges those with ASD face during their job search and about resources available to them.  

One question I heard throughout the conference to which no one seemed to have an answer was where to find white collar opportunities for those that fall within the Autism Spectrum.  I googled, emailed people, googled again and I couldn’t find anything that had all the resources in one place.

So, I decided to create my own!

Below, you’ll find a list of the companies that have dedicated programs for ASD hires.  I also include a job search site that compiles white-collar opportunities available for those with high functioning autism.

Although there are several companies that hire those with Autism, I focus on companies that: 1) offer opportunities specifically for those with high functioning autism, and 2) have traditionally “white collar” jobs available (think software engineers, data analysts co-ops, research internships, etc.).  I want to make sure that these jobs will lead to an actual career and not just a part-time opportunity.

The list includes the company name, a short description of their initiative, a direct link to their website, and a sampling of the opportunities offered (if available).

Feel free to click through the list to find the opportunities that most make sense for you.  If you know of a company I missed or if your company has a neurodiversity hiring initiative, send me a message to add yourself to the list (Ramon (at) PersuasiveInterview.com)

Company: Microsoft

Name of Initiative/Website: disAbility

Types of Opportunities available: Software Engineer, Compliance & Controls Analyst, Senior Designer - Skype


Company: AT&T

Name of Initiative/Website: Autism Internship

Types of Opportunities available: Pilot program with 3 spots in their Dallas HR Department

Company: SAP

Name of Initiative/Website: Autism at Work

Types of Opportunities available: Once on the website, you have to send them an email to find out about the opportunities.  I sent one about a week ago and have yet to get a response. I have already sent a follow up and will update this when I get a response.

Company: Hewlett Packard Enterprises (Australia)

Name of Initiative/Website: The Dandelion Program

Types of Opportunities Available: Currently a Pilot Program

Company: Ford

Name of Initiative/Website: FordInclusiveWorks

Types of Opportunities Available: Currently a Pilot Program

Company: JP Morgan-Chase

Name of Initiative/Website:

Types of Opportunities Available: Technology Analyst Program - Internship

Company: Google

Name of Initiative/Website: Google Inclusion

Types of Opportunities Available: Software Engineer, University Graduate, Data Scientist/Quantitative Analyst, Engineering, University Graduate

The Spectrum Careers:

This was an interesting website that I came across while doing research.  It has opportunities from tons of companies including Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, and many other household names.  The opportunities looked like they were only available for 2-3 days so if you see something, you should apply immediately.

https://www.thespectrumcareers.com/

P.S. And, whenever you’re ready... here are 4 ways we can help you turn job search anxiety into interviews, job offers, and self-confidence.

1. Watch my free charisma challenge course

For the next 3 days, I'm going to show you the steps you need to know to start building your network one day at a time. You will learn how to choose the right networking event for you that fits your personality and your career goals. You will know how to approach strangers and you will know how to start and end a conversation. You will know how to follow up. -> Click Here

2. Download my Instant Interview Coach E-book

I wrote this book to answer the most pressing questions people have about interviewing, how to manage their job search, and the best ways to answer the difficult interview questions you might get ("Why are you looking to switch jobs?").  I am only able to work with a limited number of people a month so this book is the perfect way to get all the advice and knowledge you need to be successful without having to book an appointment with me. Download the e-book by clicking here - > Instant Interview Coach: Your most pressing questions about interviewing answered!

3. Join our FREE Official Persuasive Interview Parents group and connect with other parents who are committed to helping their child find their dream co-op -> Click Here

4. Work with me 1-on-1

If you’d like to work directly with me to find your dream co-op... just schedule your complimentary “Persuasive Interview Consulting” Call with me so we can clarify your fastest path to finding your dream co-op and create a strategy for you to make it happen... Schedule your FREE call with me here -> Click Here To Schedule


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How to calm your nerves during an interview with ASD

When I was in middle school, I was part of the Gifted & Talented program also known as the GT program.  Basically they grouped all the nerds and put them in all the same classes that were more advanced. In those classes, one of my friends, let’s call him John, was at the top of the class in the grade rankings.  He was the school valedictorian if there is such a thing for a middle school.

Problem was, taking a test was a big deal for him.  He would get so nervous that he would literally vomit before a test.  On more than one occasion I saw him get beet red, sweating profusely, shivering like he was in the middle of a snow storm, and cry his way through a pop quiz.  

A similar situation happens to many people during interviews.  Even though everyone gets a certain level of nervousness, a portion of the population suffers from severe episodes of nervousness.

I decided to write down the 6 step process I recommend people follow to help them control and reduce the way nervousness affects them during interviews.  

Plan

Fail to plan, plan to fail.  Planning doesn’t have to be stressful.  Instead of thinking of all the things you have to do, focus instead on the process.  Just like a cake recipe, you go from one step to the next which leads you to the end result.  Consider the planning phase the read through of the recipe.

Research

Something I have found very useful to calm my nerves before interviews is to remove all the uncertainty from the situation.  Many people get nervous because they’re afraid of what the other person may think of them. These thoughts run through their heads until all we imagine them yelling “Get out!” in the middle of the interview.  

What if instead of wondering what they may think, we do some research to get to know them better?  

Looking through their LinkedIn profile will give you some excellent clues on how they think and what they may ask you.  Write down what schools they went to, the companies they’ve worked at and things you find interesting. For example, if they got a degree in engineering but are now doing accounting, that career change may be something you can write down as interesting and ask them about.  Length of time at jobs, similar companies you’ve worked at and anything you think you two have in common. These are always good points to bring up during the interview.

You can also look at their facebook and other social media profiles to get a better idea of who they are.  I like to do a general google search and see what else there is about them online.

I’ve done this with all my other clients and it’s always amazing what we’re able to find.  One time we found a company newsletter that had a full article on the hiring manager and his how he did beekeeping as a hobby.  My client brought this up during the interview which immediately turned the interview into a conversation. Obviously the hiring manager was excited to talk about beekeeping as well as impressed that someone took the time to really prepare for the interview.  

Now instead of meeting a stranger, you’re meeting someone you kinda know.  This makes the whole interview a less daunting event.

Practice

Obviously practicing is important however there is a difference between practicing and rehearsing.  I don’t want you to memorize answers. I don’t think memorizing helps calm nerves because you might then worry about messing up your script.  Instead, create your Interview Theme which is how you want the interviewer to see you and practice the answers you think those answers would be to the questions.

Aside from our practices, you should practice on your own whenever you have some free time.  You can record yourself, do it in front of the mirror, with someone else as long as you’re able to practice out loud.  

You can use this free copy of my book to learn the framework to answering the most common interview questions.  

You want to practice so much, you’ll be able to improvise.  

Visualize

Visualization is something I feel strongly about.  I consider it part of your preparation since you are mentally practicing several scenarios in your head.  If any of those scenarios or even some you haven’t thought of, come up, you’ll be able to react accordingly because you’ve “been there before”.  

Below is an excerpt from the book The Power of Habit which has that story I use often during my one-on-one coaching sessions  about Michael Phelps and how he thought about his perfect swim every day since he was a teenager until he won 23 Olympic gold medals.  

“When Phelps was a teenager, for instance, at the end of each practice, Bowman would tell him to go home and "watch the videotape. Watch it before you go to sleep and when you wake up."

The videotape wasn't real. Rather, it was a mental visualization of the perfect race. Each night before falling asleep and each morning after waking up, Phelps would imagine himself jumping off the blocks and, in slow motion, swimming flawlessly. He would visualize his strokes, the walls of the pool, his turns, and the finish. He would imagine the wake behind his body, the water dripping off his lips as his mouth cleared the surface, what it would feel like to rip off his cap at the end. He would lie in bed with his eyes shut and watch the entire competition, the smallest details, again and again, until he knew each second by heart.

During practices, when Bowman ordered Phelps to swim at race speed, he would shout, "Put in the videotape!" and Phelps would push himself, as hard as he could. It almost felt anticlimactic as he cut through the water. He had done this so many times in his head that, by now, it felt rote. But it worked. He got faster and faster. Eventually, all Bowman had to do before a race was whisper, "Get the videotape ready," and Phelps would settle down and crush the competition.”

From The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Power Pose:  

This is something I also feel strongly about.  There is research that shows Power posing has immediate effects on your testosterone levels.  Just 2-5 mins of power posing can help you raise your testosterone (which helps you with focus and quick thinking).

From the Association for Psychological Science findings:

“High-power posers experienced elevations in testosterone, decreases in cortisol, and increased feelings of power and tolerance for risk; low-power posers exhibited the opposite pattern.”

There are several moves you can try and the easiest is the superman/wonder woman pose.  This is where you stand up straight, shoulders back, eyes forward, feet shoulder width apart and hands on your hips (see wonder woman pic below).  Your head should be straight almost like if you had a string attached to the crown of your head that someone is pulling up.

Breathe either with your eyes open or closed in this pose.  I like to do it with my eyes closed and visualize but you can also just stare at your reflection or just straight ahead.

Breathe

Look at this video ( It’s only like 10 mins long.):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sgb2cUqFiY

It has a great presentation on how to correctly breathe. Practice this in the days leading up to your interview as well as the day of.

P.S. And, whenever you’re ready... here are 4 ways we can help you turn job search anxiety into interviews, job offers, and self-confidence.

1. Watch my free charisma challenge course

For the next 3 days, I'm going to show you the steps you need to know to start building your network one day at a time. You will learn how to choose the right networking event for you that fits your personality and your career goals. You will know how to approach strangers and you will know how to start and end a conversation. You will know how to follow up. -> Click Here

2. Download my Instant Interview Coach E-book

I wrote this book to answer the most pressing questions people have about interviewing, how to manage their job search, and the best ways to answer the difficult interview questions you might get ("Why are you looking to switch jobs?").  I am only able to work with a limited number of people a month so this book is the perfect way to get all the advice and knowledge you need to be successful without having to book an appointment with me. Download the e-book by clicking here - > Instant Interview Coach: Your most pressing questions about interviewing answered!

3. Join our FREE Official Persuasive Interview Parents group and connect with other parents who are committed to helping their child find their dream co-op -> Click Here

4. Work with me 1-on-1

If you’d like to work directly with me to find your dream co-op... just schedule your complimentary “Persuasive Interview Consulting” Call with me so we can clarify your fastest path to finding your dream co-op and create a strategy for you to make it happen... Schedule your FREE call with me here -> Click Here To Schedule


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