A traveler was walking through a medieval town and saw three stone masons working on a stone wall. He asked the first what he was doing. The first mason spat back, “cutting stones.” Still curious about what they were actually constructing, he asked the next stone mason, who replied “building a wall,” before going back to work.
When I was in college I routinely lived on 4hrs of sleep. Who has time for sleep when there are all these video games to play?
Back then, we didn’t have the extensive selection of energy beverages we have now. If you didn’t like coffee, then you could try this new thing called Red Bull. I specifically remember that Red Bull sponsored a 10PM event at my university during finals week in the Fall of 1999. I liked how it tasted but it didn’t really work for me (it didn’t give me energy, it just didn’t let me sleep) and besides, I didn’t need it.
If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know that my approach for interviewing is very different from what you’ve probably done before.
I don’t think you should go into an interview with hat in hand asking for a job. I think you should approach it as a conversation. Instead of sitting down and just answering questions, you should engage in a conversation and ask questions yourself.
Have you been in a situation where you mean to get something done but as more and more time passes, the harder it seems to get it done? I have not written in about 2 months (maybe more) because I wanted to make sure that what I wrote was perfect. I have several topics in mind like the best time to find a job (spoiler alert: it's when you already have a job), a salary negotiation book recommendation, and how to ask for help. Don't worry, I'll make sure to send them to you soon.
I've done at least 3 drafts for each one, reworded, edited, looked for the perfect picture, and edited some more. Every single time I thought I was finished a new thing would pop up and so would another reason why it wasn't ready to be sent out. All of this to say that another week went by without me publishing an article
I was planning on writing you again until next week however I wanted to make sure I sent this out now since you may be struggling with this problem.
I go to the gym on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and since they’re small classes, I usually get to overhear what other people are saying during the workout.
One of the exercises we do is to put a resistance band (basically a giant rubber band) right above our knees and move around.
There is a secret process to putting them on. If you hold the band from the sides to stretch it out and then pull it up like you’re putting on a pair of underwear, the band doesn’t roll up and it doesn’t dig into the side of your knees. However, if you roll it up your legs when you put it on, it (surprise!) rolls up and becomes uncomfortable (in my case it also yanks off a bunch of leg hair.)
This girl next to me (let’s call her Stacy) rolls it up and noticing it’s digging into the side of her knees says “This is uncomfortable. It’s because my thighs are too fat.”
I found this interesting because I am a good 10 inches taller with thicker thighs and yet, I didn’t have the same problem.
The reason I’m telling you this is because through my coaching practice and my day to day I consistently see candidates, and particularly women, personally blaming themselves for their failures when in reality, it’s not them who failed, but rather the process.
Stacy thought her “fat thighs” was the problem when really it was the way she put on the resistance band that was wrong. Think about how those are two very different problems. One can be fixed in 5 seconds and the other would take months as well as a lot of mental energy and self-awareness to achieve.
Same applies to your job search. Did you not get the interview because you were deficient or was it your resume that wasn’t up to par? Did they give someone else the job because you don’t have enough experience or because your Interview Theme wasn’t developed?
Let’s look at “Stacy” again.
Stacy probably thought this:
“This is uncomfortable because my thighs are too fat” = “It’s my fault I’m fat and it will be very hard and months of work to get thin thighs for this to work the way I want it to be”
When really it should have been this:
“This is uncomfortable because the process I’m using isn’t correct” = Fix process in less than 5 seconds, gets a great workout.
You’re probably doing the same in your career.
Instead of thinking this:
“I didn’t get the job because I don’t have enough experience” = “I’m personally deficient and will take years to get that type of experience so I may as well just give up”
Replace it with this:
“I didn’t get that job because my Interview Theme wasn’t the right one” = Takes about 90mins to develop an Interview Theme, gets awesome job.
Next time you hit a roadblock, before you start thinking that things didn’t work out because YOU are too dumb/fat/skinny/tall/short/broken/deficient/etc, take a step back and first consider that maybe, just maybe, the process you used wasn’t the right one.
PS: Next week I will be in Houston for the World Autism Organisation's 5th Annual International Congress as a speaker discussing techniques job candidates who are on the Autism Spectrum can obtain white collar jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I was selected based on my work and success rate I've had helping candidates start their careers. If you will be in attendance, feel free to reach out